Pick your poison: Friends to Lovers or Enemies to Lovers?
Let’s discuss: what makes a good romance? Are you into the sweet, cozy, warm glide into love that is Friends to Lovers? Or are you more of the snarky, spiky, hate-you-so-much-oh-no-we’re-making-out, Enemies to Lovers kind of girlie?
Alexia and I make our case for our favorite tropes, plus a few of our fave recommendations for the crème de la crème in each (delicious) category.
Kelly’s Pick: Enemies to Lovers
Listen up, kids. Enemies to Lovers is the superior trope and I’ll tell you why in one word: TENSION. There is nothing hotter than the razor thin line between love and hate — you * hate * them… but you can’t stop thinking about them. You * hate * them… but damn those lips look soft. You * hate * them… but you’ve never felt so alive. Like… need I say more?? (Don’t worry, I will).
Look no further than the blueprint: Pride & Prejudice, the enemies to lovers drama of all our dreams. I’m a Mr. Darcy at heart — a little shy, a little standoffish, fiercely introverted. And us Mr. Darcy’s know that it’s damn hard to make a good first impression, even when we’re trying to be dazzling. It’s hard to lean into what we want, to grab for it enthusiastically. Much easier to hide behind a little snark, a little pride, a little edge. But this one person, oh * this * person. They strip you bare. Peel back the layers until you’re raw right down to the marrow. Until you don’t know if you hate them for challenging you or if you want to make out with them in the pouring down rain like so, so bad.
And I think that’s part of the beauty of Enemies to Lovers — there’s this loss of control inherent in the trope; a kind of surrender into something you weren’t expecting, something you didn’t even recognize you wanted. It’s about the drama!! It’s about the ANGST. God, I live for that.
It doesn’t hurt knowing someone has seen you at your worst, at your most vindictive and sad and vicious, and managed to fall in love with you, anyway. You’re going to sit there and tell me that’s not impossibly charming?? PLZ.
It’s all about tragic first impressions, and wild misunderstandings, and reckoning with insecurity, doubt, pride (it goeth before the fall, as they say). Which makes for the most delicious viewing (or reading) experience you could ever want. You with me?
Enemies to lovers recs for my prickly, drama-loving girls:
Movies & TV:
Bridgerton (S2) (kind of S1 too, but S2 supremacy in this house)
Red, White, & Royal Blue (the book too!)
The animated classics: Anastasia, Mulan, Beauty & The Beast, Tangled (if the live action Tangled doesn’t have Dev Patel, I don’t want it)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (SPIKE 4EVA)
Books:
Legendborn Series (Selwyn Kane, take me away)
Love, Thereotically (for my people pleasers)
ACOTAR (if you know, you know)
Heated Rivalry (I apologize in advance for this cover, which is terrible)
I COULD GO ON AND ON
Alexia’s Pick: Friends to Lovers
I have this theory that your first fictional romance is the one that shapes you forever.
In my case, I was deeply obsessed with Twilight at the age of 8 (I know that sounds way too young, but those were the perks of having a big sister during the Twilight craze of the late 2000s). Seriously, I felt like Bella Swan’s DNA was entwined with mine. Though the Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate isn’t even a battle anymore — c’mon, Edward wins any day — admittedly, I was a Jacob girl in my youth. Granted, I probably thought the tanned fit werewolf was cooler and hotter since my frontal lobe was hardly developed. But there was (and still is) something so special about the foundation of friendship that Bella and Jacob’s love was built on.
This won’t be a dissertation on the Twilight saga, though you wouldn't have to twist my arm to get me to write that. This is proof that my theory reigns true — because I am a friends to lovers girly, through and through. Nothing gets me giggling and twirling my hair and throwing a book across the room with utter giddiness like a friends to lovers does.
With just three words, I could convince you that friends to lovers is the elite trope.
Jim and Pam.
Another one of my defining fictional couples, these two are the blueprint for a friends to lovers — with bonus points for an excruciating slow burn. They’ve had the world in a chokehold for literally two decades. We watch them in an infuriating dance of flirty moments and “almost”s (like that scene where they listen to the most perfectly cheugy 2000s song together in the parking lot with the same pair of earbuds, ugh!) for three full seasons before they finally work it out. And the producers knew what they were doing by keeping them together for the rest of the show.
We all wanted to be Pam! The girl who is pined after so intensely that it physically hurts to watch. Who gets to end up with the guy who would wait for her because he knows it’s worth the wait. Who marries her best friend who knows her inside and out and makes her laugh more than anyone.
There’s just something so special about being known, seen, chosen, and loved that just really does it for me. That warm feeling of knowing each other better than anyone else, having some pivotal breaking point that makes you realize you can’t live without them (typically due to a misunderstanding that could have been so easily avoided. Why is that the cornerstone of every romance novel ever?), and getting to live happily ever after with your best friend.
I mean, that’s the dream, baby!
I’m a girl who loves familiarity and deeply hates conflict, so it isn’t hard to self-diagnose and see why the enemies to lovers trope isn’t really my thing. I’d much rather have the slow burn, butterflies in your stomach, “will they or won’t they” kind of thing. Of course, to each their own! But if you’re on the same page as me and need a little infusion of sweet romance in your life…
Here are my friends to lovers picks for all the cozy feels:
Movies & TV:
The Office (for Jim & Pam)
13 Going On 30, DUH
Normal People (the show > the book)
Friends (I’m a Ross & Rachel girl)
New Moon (the middle part)
Books:
The Summer of Broken Rules (a bit adolescent, but soooo cute)
Emma (yes, the Jane Austen one)
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (kinda sorta)
Hey, Kelly here. Welcome to The Landline. Dial in for gentle deep dives into anything and everything I'm obsessing over at the moment (mostly sane, always silly). Grab your Diet Coke, wind that phone cord around your finger, and let's get to it.